Curtain Calls (Original Submission)
by false-illusions
Summary: There are dreams you build with people and there are people you dream of being with. Sometimes they come hand in hand, permanent; often they just co-exist for a moment in your life until it's time for you to make the choice - one or another, this or that, A or B, your dream or your love. This is the oneshot submitted to the Babies at the Border Compilation. Will expand soon.


**Disclaimer:** I'm not at all well-versed with theatre productions, and very little research was put into this between my work and the deadline for submitting stories.

 **Author's note:** Really thrilled to be part of the Babies at the Border project; salute to the organizers and to everyone who has contributed and donated all for such a good cause. I hope we all continue to include the children and their families (and all refugees beyond America) in our prayers. I hope you enjoy this story! Will be expanding this as soon as the holidays wind down.

* * *

 _You've got your passion, you've got your pride_ _  
_ _But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?_ _  
_ _Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true_ _  
_ _When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?_

 **Part 1.**

Bella had tears in her eyes.

Nope, they weren't tears of sadness or anguish or regret or anger – though she had been way too familiar with those in the past few years. This time they were tears of joy.

" _Eleanor: Riverbend to Riviera_  
A play by Isabella Swan"

It took a long time to get here (four years if she was being exact); after countless rejected scripts, a few jobs as stage director-slash-script supervisor, several side jobs as a freelance columnist, some broken hearts, and a few breakups, one of which was from her college sweetheart.

Certainly, it wasn't the easiest path, but Bella was simply exhilarated just staring at the official poster of her play displayed outside this modest theatre.

 _Her own play_ _._

"This is Vienna…" she whispered to herself, rubbing her tattoo that said _Vienna waits for you._ Bella got it on her 18th birthday in total conspiracy with her father, the exact same person who raised her listening to Billy Joel.

This had been her dream when she was four and Ms. Wright's class had to do a play and Bella had so many ideas for it but she was forced to do Mary Poppins instead.

This had been her dream when she was five and Mom and Dad brought her to Broadway to watch _The Lion King._

This had been her dream when she was six and was the one telling her own stories for bedtime to the stuffed toys and Mom and Dad.

This had been her dream when she was thirteen and wrote the winning script at a search contest for the play their high school was going to stage but was eventually rejected because she wasn't even attending high school yet.

This had been her dream when she was finally in high school and wrote and directed two plays for the drama club. That was vindication.

This had been her dream when she was twenty and was the playwright for their university's top theatre production that year.

This had been her dream when she met, dated, fell in love, and moved in with _him._

This had been her dream when she graduated college at twenty-two and none of her scripts got any traction, so she had to settle for editing manuscripts at a publishing house. At least she had _him_ making her grilled cheese while he sang along to Billy Joel and kissed her inked wrists to cheer her up.

This had been her dream at twenty-four and she was running herself to the ground, living on her own in another city but reveling in the thrill of doing what she was passionate about; missing those she loved but doing _what_ she loved. She barely had _him_ , and the few times she did, he seemed so far away more than just physically. Perhaps, _she_ was far away.

This had been _her_ dream – on her twenty-fifth birthday, in a different city, with her friends in the next room, singing along to some upbeat song from the top 40, while she sat in the empty bathtub, a half-empty bottle of wine in her hand, reading an email from him that simply said _happy birthday_. It was the first she's heard from him since their fall out and also her first birthday in years without _him_ to celebrate it with. Hewas miles away, and all she wanted for her birthday was to hear him sing Billy Joel. But his last words to her still lingered, and no amount of alcohol could convince her to dial his number.

This had been her dream, she knew without a doubt, as she worked tirelessly to edit scripts that weren't hers or to supervise plays she didn't particularly like, then stayed up nearly all night to finish her own script.

This had been her dream when she'd lie awake at the nights she let herself think of _him_ and wonder what he was doing. If he was there with her, she wouldn't even have to wonder.

Now she just let herself wonder if the two tickets she sent some weeks ago would be used.

As she made her way inside the theatre, Bella was sure she heard the first strums of _Vienna_ somewhere overhead.

* * *

 **Part 2.**

11:23 am

Twenty-three minutes late. _Late._ Bella hated lateness. She valued people's time and she appreciated it when people valued _her_ time. As much as she can, Bella was almost always ahead of schedule…except when she was cramming, or when, just like today, she slept through her alarm because a certain someone kept her up late over the phone.

It was a Saturday and she was supposed to meet Edward at 11 to go over the music he had composed so far. And she was late.

Bella found him on the piano in the room reserved for the theatre production at the music building, completely immersed in his own world. She stood by the door for a moment, admiring the sight and the sound. Edward was undeniably talented, Dr. Santoro's recommendation of him was spot-on, and it didn't hurt that he was a decent guy; the couple of weeks Bella had known had known him, they have become good friends…well, they were more than friends – they have been sorta dating each other.

Right after their first meeting for the play, Edward had asked her to grab dinner with him. "Like a date?" she asked, a little hopeful and giddy. Edward was good-looking and perfectly charming, no douchebag qualities so far.

For a second, Bella wondered that maybe he was just being nice, since their meeting had ended a little later than expected, or that he was just hungry and wanted some company, and here she was presuming he was asking her out on a date.

"Yeah, like a date," Edward told her, a shy smile on his face. "If that's okay with you? I mean, if you _are_ single – shit, I'm sorry, I didn't even ask if you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend," he began to ramble in panic, looking anywhere but Bella now. "Uhhh, yeah, not that it counts, you know I – Let's just say that it doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be. I swear I'm not an asshole." Edward was flushed.

Bella tried not to laugh, she really did. But he was too cute and she was crushing on him. She finished gathering her things and grinned at Edward. "I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I'd love to go on a date with you."

So, apart from the time they spent together to work on the music for the play, they had gone out to dinner thrice, met in the middle of classes if their schedules permitted, or visited a hole in the wall café to study together or simply hang out. It had been a good couple of weeks.

"Hey, _Just Bella_ ," Edward called out, using the nickname he gave her the day the two of them met. "Someone kept you up late last night?" he added in jest, giving Bella that smile he did when he was poking fun at her.

Bella dropped her bag on one of the empty chairs, fishing out her notebook and a container of cookies she baked the day before. "Actually, yeah. I was on the phone with this jackass until 2:25 am. He refused to hang up, but I've learned my lesson."

He was grinning at her. "And, what's that?"

"I won't answer when the jackass calls again."

Bella placed the container on top of the piano and they each get one cookie.

"Hey, I thought you liked this jackass – you said so yourself last night."

"Unfortunately." The two of them laughed, slowly leaning closer to share a soft kiss.

The two of them proceeded to work – Edward playing samples for scenes as Bella listened and offered ideas, then while he worked on some changes, she'd study stage direction and add notes on her copy of the script. The amount of work that needed to be done in a few short months before opening day was overwhelming for Bella, along with the idea that pulling this off perfectly would be good on her resume but any shortcoming could cost greatly on her future career as a playwright. However, working on all of it with Edward just a few feet away seemed to have a grounding effect on her. Aside from his good looks and talent, his drive and passion for his own craft made him all the more attractive.

A couple of hours later, with a nearly empty container of cookies – Edward claimed dibs on the few remaining ones – newly filled music sheets, and several new pages added to Bella's binder, they decided to wrap up for the day.

"Will you marry me?" Edward declared from out of nowhere.

Bella just laughed and continued putting stuff into her bag. "What?"

"I just proposed to you because you baked these superior cookies which makes you awesome."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Masen," she said, "I do know how awesome I am, but you might wanna hold off on that proposal – I can't cook to save my life."

Edward gasped, walking by and grabbing her hand to exit the room. "Well, it's a very good thing _I_ excel at cooking."

She squeezed his hand, enjoying the ease between them. "Then, Edward Masen, will you marry me?"

* * *

 **Part 3.**

"…end rehearsal!" shouted Emmett, Bella's assistant director.

"Great job, everyone! Take fifteen then let's regroup for a little assessment afterwards," Bella added, addressing the group of actors onstage and the crew. She turned to Emmett beside her. "You take a break, too Em. I'll catch up with you backstage."

Today was the first full rehearsal that the faculty of the Theatre department had seen. The scenes were complete, the actors had been training well, the score was laid out, and even the lighting was nearly perfect – all that's needed were costumes and props. There was a few weeks to go before opening night, and absolutely no going back to change anything now, but as Bella walked towards where Professor Siobhan sat with fellow professors, she felt like the ground should just crack open and swallow her whole.

Siobhan Madden stood from her seat and introduced Bella to the group. There were little smiles and some nods, so no outright disdain. They weren't her professors but she was familiar with most who were playwrights, directors, and basically well-established personalities in the theatre industry. Siobhan herself was a playwright and a screenwriter for films. And having them all here, to judge her work as a mere college student was daunting.

Bella was pulled aside by Siobhan to "speak privately".

"They hated it, didn't they?"

Siobhan stared at her blankly. " _Isabella,_ did you really think I would approve of _your_ script and _your_ direction if there was one voice in my head that said your piece would be bad?"

It was Bella's turn to stare blankly; Siobhan had a flair to speak more dramatically.

"Though, I should say, you continue to surprise _me._ I loved it, and so did they. Except for one, but he's always had such…different tastes in things."

Siobhan pulled a page out of her notes and handed it to Bella. "Some improvements the production could use. I'll check in again when it's time for dress rehearsals."

Bella walked to the direction of the stage, feeling joyous with the good words from the pros. She couldn't wait to share this with Edward, whom she found speaking with a very dismayed-looking Dr. Santoro. She knew what those two were discussing.

Over the past months they have been dating, Edward had been very open about his plan to drop out of the music program and shift to business. He'd been contemplating on this prior to even meeting Bella and working on this project – in fact, it was exactly why Dr. Santoro had recommended him to score the play, to try and sway Edward's decision.

" _I love it, but I don't wanna be resentful of my decisions in the future when I one day find myself wanting for a better life…"_ he'd said to her one night, as they lay in his bed at the small off-campus apartment he shared with a friend.

 _Being one of the arts herself, Bella, in a way understood the conflict within Edward – she was very much aware that there would be struggles when she had decided she wanted to pursue playwrighting as a future career, it was far from practical. On the other hand, this had been something she had always wanted, and Bella swore she'd get there one day – risks and all. However, that didn't mean she totally abandoned all pragmatism – Bella had side plans to get her from point A to point B, even if that meant taking detours and such._

 _Edward's situation was very similar, except there was the pressure from his dad who raised her boyfriend to be realistic and practical in all things. Hence, his decision to switch majors; Edward had told her he'd study business now, build something of his own, then continue pursuing music on the side._

 _She slid one hand to his cheek and turned his face so they were looking at each other. "You have my support whatever decision you'll make, you know that, right?" He nodded at her. "I'm not about to lecture you about staying on and sticking it out…Though I can't help but be glad you stuck it out for as long as you did…"_

 _Edward frowned, grabbing her hand on his face to place a kiss on it. "How so?"_

" _If you'd transferred programs earlier, we wouldn't be here right now."_

 _His confused frown turned to a smile before he leaned over to kiss her deeply. "Does that mean I can stick it in you now?"_

 _Bella giggled. "Oh my god, I think you just killed my vibe."_

" _Please?"_

" _You have to agree to some of my terms first."_

" _Oooh, as a future business student, I do need some lessons on negotiations. Hit me up, Ms. Swan."_

" _First, please promise never to use those terms to allude to sex ever again or else I'm dumping your ass." She waited for him to nod and cross his heart. "Second…since I'm going to be a_ _ **huge**_ _playwright someday, I don't think I'll ever find any composer as good as the one I have now to be my musical director. What do you say to a partnership, Mr. Masen?"_

 _As close as their faces were in that moment, the smile on Edward's face was so radiant it made Bella fall for him all over again. "How do you know just exactly what to say?"_

 _Bella dragged her lips from across his cheek to his ear, whispering, "I just do. Now, the partnership?"_

" _You've got yourself a deal, Ms. Swan. And I know exactly how to seal this deal."_

They didn't have a chance to talk about Edward's discussion with Dr. Santoro until later that evening, out at a divebar with some friends Bella made from the production team, and Edward's roommate, Jasper. Their group was going on about today's rehearsal and the reaction from the faculty – excitement evident among them as Bella shared about the feedback from Siobhan.

When their friends scattered around to dance and mingle with other people, leaving the two of them on their table, Bella finally got the chance to ask Edward, who had been a little quiet today.

"He was…sad about it," he said, talking about Dr. Santoro.

"And, you? How do you feel about your decision?" Bella asked. She had his left hand clasped between both of hers, a silent show of support. She knew making this decision was hard for him no matter what.

"I…don't know. Shouldn't I be happy that I'm finally doing this? What if I made the wrong choice, after all?"

"Babe, listen to me, okay…You're allowed to feel whatever you wanna feel. It's a huge decision you just made. You're passionate about music but you're also very practical about life – and, there's nothing wrong with that. Even if you've chosen to continue in the music department, there would also be nothing wrong with that."

Edward pulled her close, burying his face in her neck, all the while one of her hands found its way to his hair, fingers brushing gently.

"And just so you know," she added, her voice getting that mischievous tone it always did when she was about to mess with him. "If business doesn't work out for you, I sure will be hiring you to score my plays in the future."

"Never stop being you, okay?" he said, placing light kisses to her skin.

* * *

 **Part 4**

"Babe?" she heard Edward's voice call; the front door closed. Their beagle, Dwight, had his ears raised and his tail waggling, but didn't run off as he would usually do. He stayed cuddled with Bella.

Bella offered Edward a sad smile when he appeared in the doorway to their bedroom – happy to see him despite other concerns.

Edward placed the takeout he had with him on top of the nearest drawer and joined Bella (and Dwight) in bed – pulling her closer to his chest while the dog maneuvered in between them because he simply wouldn't give up cuddling time with his mom. There was just enough room for Bella to claim her nook by Edward's neck.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, placing a light kiss to her ear.

A few moments passed before she replied. "They cancelled on me." And he immediately knew Bella was talking about her scheduled meeting with the theatre production she'd been excited about all week long.

She simply burrowed into him, mindful of their dog yet still comfortable. And Edward let her, just as she always did when he had a bad day from dealing with his business partners and their start-up.

They were silent for several minutes, even Dwight who was comfortable just to be snuggled with his two humans.

"I'm just _so_ frustrated…" she sighed, pulling away from Edward but staying close. Even before graduation, Bella has had this small inkling of _feeling_ created by uncertainty and fueled by reply emails saying _"We regret to inform you…"_ as if they were coming from one template. She had been able to temper it from time to time as there were matters that kept her busy such as her current job, her dog, and her boyfriend…but it came to a head when not a rejection letter but a cancellation letter came in her mail today.

"I _know_ I sound like some _fucking_ brat…"

"You don't sound like a _fucking_ brat."

"…and I _should_ be happy that I'm employed and to some extent I doenjoy my job…I'm just…right now, I feel like I'm crumbling when I always knew there would be setbacks no matter how flawless my resume is."

She looked at Edward, letting him see just how small she felt in that moment, not because her applications were being rejected – though that was a factor – but because all these rejections made her feel weak. His thumbs brushed the little tears away.

"A couple of years ago, I picked up this pretty useful advice from a remarkable woman…" he smirked, the one that he reserved only for her. "You see, I had changed my majors in my third year of college, and even though I've been considering it for some time, I still felt uncertain and a little lost when I finally did it…I thought maybe I was feeling that way because I made the wrong choice. But this woman, amazing woman she truly is," they shared a smile. "She just grabbed at me and said it was totally okay for me to feel the way I felt – she didn't say bullshit stuff like _it's all going to be alright_ or patronized me on what I _should_ be feeling…"

Bella allowed herself to be comforted; this was just another setback, but it didn't mean the end of the world. She knew there would be more chances for her.

* * *

 **Part 5 – Conversations**

A couple of months later:

"Save whatever document you're working as often as possible because the program can lag at any given moment and you'll lose all pr-"

 **UNKNOWN NUMBER CALLING**

"Hello."

"Hi, is this Isabella Swan?"

"Who's asking?"

"Heidi Mills, Human Resources for Twilight Stage Productions."

"…in Los Angeles?"

"Correct."

"This is Isabella Swan speaking, how may I help you?"

Edward placed Bella's suitcase by the doorway before joining her and Dwight on the couch. She was all ready for her flight, with the cab expected to arrive in the next thirty minutes or so.

"Dwight and I will visit you in two weeks; I promise I'll bring him." He hugged her to his chest as she held on to Dwight.

"Two weeks is too long…"

"You'll be so busy over there, two weeks will fly by."

"You'll also be busy here…"

"Not too busy to call you."

"…Try not to pull all your hair out when Garrett gets on your last nerve, okay?"

"I will try my best."

Kisses were exchanged, deep and important, but not intended to go anywhere. She pulled away, planting soft kisses around his mouth and on his cheeks. "Dwight likes to cuddle with _me,_ but not you. Don't be offended but he prefers to sleep by your feet when I'm not here…though you'll most likely wake up with him on my side of the bed."

Another kiss, this time Dwight couldn't help but get in between, making Bella laugh.

"How many of my shirts did you pack?"

"Three, I think? You're gonna have to bring me some more when you visit."

"You know I will. Be awesome out there, okay? I mean, I know you will but still…"

"I will. And you'll stay awesome here, k?"

"I will. We both know you'll be so great, next thing you know you're off bossing around your own team and I'll be flying in because I made this deal with a playwright to compose her play's music, and I don't have a contract to show for it but I'm bound to it for life."

"I can't go from script supervisor to director, silly."

"You have to, or else the next time Garrett pisses me off and I actually punch his face in, I'll be unemployed. My only hope then will be for _you_ tohire me or to bum it out."

She laughed, though a couple of tears escaped her eyes. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll miss you."

"I love you. So much. This is just the beginning of your dream, babe. Live it."

"…more offers as a composer, move to LA…" Bella kept talking.

"Hey, babe. Don't get too ahead of yourself," he said in jest. "We'll get there, okay? Let's do one audition at a time."

She smiled at him and nodded in agreement. "Vienna," Bella said, referring to her tattoos of Billy Joel's lyrics. It was a favorite of hers, often singing the words out loud when she was frustrated about life.

Edward, on the other hand, likened her to another Billy Joel song. One that he'd sing to her at the most random times of the day and hummed to her just before they fell asleep. Yet he still sang to her, in jest but also serious, " _Slow down, you crazy child,"_ which was also another tattoo of Bella's. She got it right after college graduation.

"I miss you. And I'm sorry if I sound like I'm pressuring you to go for the music career – I know how important the business is to you – but I swear, I'm not…"

"Babe, I know. I love you even more for reminding me of my dreams while constantly supporting me on what I'm doing now."

"I'm just excited, you know? Being surrounded by all this energy every day and feeling so invincible and so close to the theatre career that I've always wanted – I _can't wait_ to share this with you."

"I swear, you make the meanest grilled cheese. Nothing compares."

Bella was halfway through her second sandwich, having just gotten home from LA. Edward and Dwight picked her up from the airport, intending to grab something for dinner, but she just wanted to be home and have Edward's homemade grilled cheese.

He planted a kiss on her temple then lifted her face and placed a smack right on her greasy, cheesy lips. "I'm glad you're home. No one appreciates my cooking skills as much as you do."

"They actually want me for another project…"

"Bella, that's great!"

"It is, it is…"

"I can sense a but…"

"Edward, this new project, it's nothing like the last one which took less than four weeks for me. This project – it's going to be in production for six months plus another two or three for the road shows."

He just stared at her, blank. "So?"

She stared back, perplexed. "What do you mean _"so"_? Um, did you not hear what I just said? We're talking of nearly nine months of me being away and who else knows w-"

"No, I get that, B. What are you trying to say?"

"We'll be separated for so long,"

"I'll be here, and I'll make time to be there with you. We've got Skype and Facetime, and if you ever feel like sending me nude photos I discovered this super secure messaging app we'll use fo-"

"Shut up, Edward," she said, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "You have to prove to me first how secure this app really is to even make me consider sending nudes."

He grinned at Bella and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you…and don't worry about _us_ okay? We're good now, and we'll continue to be good. This is _your_ dream, babe. Go for it."

"This is _your_ dream, too. When they have an opening for original scripts, I'll turn in submissions."

"When's your dad flying in to visit you?"

"I just got off the phone with him and Mom, apparently they got a flight for next weekend, so they'll be here then. I'll try to sneak in sometime to Facetime with you."

"No worries, babe – just enjoy your time with Charlie and Renee, I'll probably be working late then. You guys going to Broadway, right?"

"Yep, locked in three tickets for _Aladdin._ Oh! Remember Rosie Hale?"

"Rosie Ha- oh, she was the one who dropped out, right?"

"That one...she went off to become an actress, actually. But, I ran into her today and she's got a steady gig as an actress here. We're meeting tomorrow for brunch, catching up and stuff."

"It's great you have someone familiar there with you."

"I know, right? I mean, it's exciting and all, but at night it's hard not to miss being at home with you and Dwight."

"Give it some time and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be harder to get you to come home."

"Then you'll just have to move here, huh?"

" _Hey, you've reached Bella – I'm either busy or put my phone on silent. Leave a message or just text me."_

"Hey, babe. Call me back when you get this, okay? Garrett's getting on my fucking nerves today."

"We got the deal with the Punnish! I can't believe this!"

"Hey! Congrats, babe! Aren't you happy you didn't give Garrett that black eye?"

Edward guffawed, very unlike him, which made Bella laugh along. "Oh, hey I gotta go, I'll call you later ok? Love you."

The line went dead before she could even respond.

 **Heyyy, canw efacrtime? M drnkg an dhprny - Bella**

 _ **Hi you drunk horndog, you home now? - Edward**_

 **Yessss ro toik ubrr wid me fctme plss m najked - Bella**

Bella immediately answered when Edward's ringtone came on. There was no denying her state of drunkenness.

"Why aren't you naked?" she slurred, noticing he was outside instead of in bed – where he should be on this Friday night.

"Hello to you too, drunky. I'm out with Gar and Tyler, we're celebrating."

"You don't even like Garrett. Go home and have facetime sex with me _please._ "

He laughed at her, totally amused. "Ahhhh I miss you, and as much as I wanna have sex right now, we gotta take a raincheck." She pouted at him and he laughed even more.

"I don't like you," she told him, closing her eyes.

"I love you, though. Please make sure you take Advil before you go to sleep?"

 **Hi, E. U free? Pls call me back. Love you.**

…

 **Babe, sorry. Was in a meeting all day. Let me know when you're free.**

* * *

 **Part 6.**

"…looking for someone who can do the score, and I thought of you."

Edward stopped reading the brief he had and glanced at Bella on the iPad screen, smiling at her briefly. "I would love to do it…" he paused.

Bella knew there was a _but_ coming there. She had become used to it from him for the past few months.

Edward had been busier with his business growing. He was always in meetings with clients or his partners, and with only three of them running things, they were stretched, and were planning to look into hiring junior staff to help out.

Neither Edward nor Bella had the budget to fly out as frequently as they wanted to see each other, so their conversations were limited to quick texts during workdays, and Facetime sessions on weekends. It was tough, but they made it work.

It wasn't until their Friday nights schedule for catching up over Facetime had been affected for a few consecutive weeks, and even their weekends got busier that Bella decided to fly home to spend the weekend with him and Dwight, whom she terribly missed. Sure, things were hectic in New York in preparation for the production, but she was allowed a long weekend off to go.

On that trip home, she had hoped that things would eventually settle and new routines could be established for them. But for that weekend, she just wanted to be home with him and their dog and spend it the way they always used to.

Saturday mornings, they ran or hiked then she would work on her scripts while he did some research for work or add to his music sheets. Saturday nights were pretty chill, driving around town to find themselves in whatever divebar so Edward could play, and Sundays were for lazing in bed talking of her scripts, her stories and bringing them to life. He'd convince her to describe the atmosphere of a scene, while he hummed and tapped on her bare skin as if she was his instrument. Those were her favorite days.

However, no matter how planned out her weekend off was, they didn't expect Garrett to phone in for some emergency meeting with a client. Dwight kept her company while she spent her Saturday writing, and when Edward still wasn't home by evening, Bella went ahead and drove downtown to meet up with some friends from college. It was supposed to be their night out, as she wanted some old, familiar reprieve and she knew how much Edward could use that too. She knew he'd been too busy recently that he had not been able to join Jasper's band, or basically just sit down and work on his music.

They didn't see each other again until 1:30 am, Sunday morning, with 24 hours left before she flew back to New York, just as he was unlocking their front door. He looked tired while she was a little unruly from dancing around and drinking with old friends, and while she was frustrated that a whole day just went by without him, Bella didn't have the energy – or time – to waste being mad at the circumstances. Especially not when he was promising the next day to be just theirs along with grilled cheese and their bed.

And, that's exactly what they did the whole Sunday – sex, sleep, grilled cheese, more sex, more sleep, and some ice cream. In those moments, everything else was forgotten. Right before they separated at the airport, Edward promised he'd visit her as soon as he could.

"But?" she prompted; it had been a few weeks since they last saw each other, and they only got busier, but he was scheduled to fly in next week. This was the first time they actually sat down for more than a few seconds to talk beyond text messages. Bella thought his visit would coincide perfectly with an audition.

"There's this convention in Miami that Garrett and I were thinking of attending, the people there could be prospective partners…"

Some other time, possibly when she was not exhausted from work, a little frustrated with her roommates for being so damned messy, and distressed with the physical and emotional distance from her boyfriend, she would've been calmer. But at the time, Bella was all those things, and she knew exactly what the _but_ was about.

"Let me guess," she said, her tone stilted, " _this_ convention just happens to fall on the same weekend you're supposed to come here, am I right?"

Even through laptop screens, there was no denying the look that passed on Edward's face. It only grated on Bella more.

"I know we've had this visit planned, but…" he trailed off.

"But the convention is important." She finished for him.

The slight, silent nod from him was all Bella got.

The rational part of her, the part that supported Edward in his decision to transfer to business school years back, the part that acted as his soundboard for ideas at work and kept him calm when he was about to lose his cool with his business partners, _that_ part would say it was no problem and they could totally move his visit to another weekend and even be excited for the opportunity. But, months of missed calls, rushed conversations if their schedules actually allowed, and postponed visits apart from her flying home the other weekend, have left her drained.

She wanted to be mad, of course she did. In a way she was, but mostly she just felt...disappointed and empty. Bella felt it was unfair to him if she was angry at not being his top priority when she was in another city, in another state working towards the thing she had always wanted.

"I think I'm gonna turn in now," she told him, standing up to clear her dinner.

"Babe…"

"I'm _really_ exhausted and I have a meeting super early tomorrow."

"But it's Saturday, that's supposed to be your day-off."

Her answer came out hard and a little cold. "It was supposed to be, but I had to move my schedule around," _for when you were supposed to go here_ , she added in her mind.

"I'm sorry."

With a nod, she hang up.

* * *

 **Part 7.**

"Bella, I'm sure you know you're pretty much guaranteed a permanent place with us after this production," Margaret, Production Manager, told her during a meeting. "We have several projects after this one, and knowing you and how you work, I am offering you a position with us."

This was news. And Bella couldn't believe her ears. Sure, she meshed well with the crew and was now more than familiar with how things functioned thanks to her being here for nearly five months. It was easy, working with the people around her, and getting along with those who shared her interests and understood the pressures of having jobs such as theirs. It hadn't been that way since college where she spent a lot of her time with theatre people - thespians, playwrights – coming to New York had revealed to her how much she missed it, and how she could get use to all of it. And though she was on great terms with the production company who hired her for the temporary job, she also knew never to just assume.

So, hearing it from a more Senior member of the crew, Bella was absolutely floored. And she had almost said yes on the spot.

She sat in her room that night with a journal she made back when she was nine; it was something her parents brought with them when they paid a visit. Growing older, Bella had moved and added items – the last notes were from high school. Looking at her notes over the years, she smiled thinking of her younger self making these plans; based on her timeline, she was a little off schedule – a couple of years off-schedule, but she was getting there, she _will_ get there.

Charlie told her she was like a human embodiment of Billy Joel's song Vienna, which was why that song meant a lot to her – she was determined and ambitious, always going and going and going. Her mom would call her stubborn. Edward called her driven.

 _Edward…_

It had been awkward between them since the time he forewent his trip to New York to go to Miami. They didn't fight, no – they both knew well there was nothing to fight over – being rational, considerably smart adults, they were aware of the consequences of a long-distance relationship between two very busy individuals. But just because there wasn't a fight didn't mean everything was fine either.

He did fly in to visit her for an extended weekend, Dwight in tow. He apologized for cancelling, she apologized for not being more understanding, and they hugged and all returned to normal. But it didn't.

Their conversations were short and trying, silences heavy as if expecting one of them to fill it and address the awkwardness. Sure, she was thrilled to have him in her space, but Bella felt stilted, the whole time it seemed like she was trying to include him in _her life_ – introducing him to her friends, working him into her schedule, her routine, seeing him in her space – and she had very little idea what was going in with his life.

Vaguely, he brought up plans once she was back home. When it was time for him to leave, they decided to leave Dwight with her, as he was barely home because of work. Now, they were back to short messages and skipping set Facetime schedules.

Originally, Bella planned to go back after her contract, which was ending in a couple of months, and try out her luck on other theatres now that she was armed with a better resume and more experience. But Margaret's offer gave her something to consider – and Bella really was considering it. After all, this was what she had always wanted, wasn't it?

* * *

 **Part 8.**

They were out for dinner at a Thai place Bella had wanted to try and had barely even been seated when Rose pulled out a folder from her purse and handed it to Bella. "Look, B. This folder is filled with contacts, ones I made when I was starting out in the business. You can try them out once your contract here is done."

Bella was quiet for a second, eyes jumping back and forth between her friend and the folder. She was planning to share with Rose her latest dilemma but wanted to wait until later in the evening.

"Rose, I-uh...I got an offer here. In New York."

Across her, Rose beamed. "Oh my gosh! Oh my _fucking_ gosh, Bella!"

Bella couldn't help but smile and allow herself the excitement over the prospect of a job offer despite everything else.

"You said yes, right?"

"Well...that's the problem, Ro. I don't know what to do."

"Is it because of Edward? Have you spoken about it?"

She shook her head no and took a breath. "We've barely been speaking as it is, and honestly...I'm afraid of what he'd say to me once I tell him."

Rose's eyes widened in surprise. "You're afraid - wait, B, has he been _nasty_ to you?"

"No, Ro. Not like that. I'm afraid because I _know_ he won't argue with me if I tell him, he'd even encourage me to go and take it, I'm certain of that. Because we both know that's what _I_ want, that's _my_ dream, and that I'm going to pursue it no matter what it takes. And he's just going to let me." And, there. She finally said it.

"We've been so distant from each other for almost the entire time since I moved here, and I miss him so much, I do, but...I know that the only way to fix _us_ right now is for me to decline the job offer and move back. Deep inside him, I know that's what _he_ wants...and I don't know if that's something I want for myself, I don't know." Bella was a portrait of frustration - inside and out.

Somehow, she knew that was why she and Edward danced around the issue; despite all the distance between them, they knew each other. For all the time they've been together, she had been determined to pursue this career path no matter what, and he'd supported her there. All the same, she knew that right now, his mind was set on the business he had been building, and she just didn't have the heart to ask him to leave that for her.

Leaving the situation to where it was now: this limbo where they barely had the time and space for a long-distance relationship, wherein they were barely fighting for each other, where they were taking each other for granted.

Bella took a shaky breath, wiping away some stray tears roughly, as if the action would somehow brush all of it away.

Rose reached out to take Bella's free hand; a show of silent support. "I think you do know what to do, B."

* * *

 **Part 9.**

 _Four years later_

Opening night was a sold-out success and judging from the roaring applause given by the audience right as the curtains fell down, it was a success in general. Bella was hugged by her friends as the lights came on, hollered at by the crew and applauded by the crowd as she made her way up onstage for the curtain call and Q&A as followed. She and Rose, as one of the main actors in the play, could barely contain their joy as the two of them hugged each other for a riveting opening night.

Bella could feel her heart thundering in her chest as she answered questions from the audience, trying her best to give meaning to symbolisms in the play without insisting for the audience to eat it up. She loved when a person or two would interpret objects as she intended them to but was intrigued when there were those who gave new meaning to her piece. She listened as the actors spoke of their characters as if they were real individuals rather than roles being played and took to heart both raves and critiques from the audiences.

Bella was on cloud nine but still, on the back of her mind, she felt like something was missing.

She was chatting with Rose and the other actors backstage, a debriefing of sorts. They were all heading out for celebratory drinks at a bar nearby, and Bella promised them she'd catch up after grabbing a late dinner with her parents. As they were filing out of the dressing room, blowing congratulatory kisses to each other and hollering a cacophony of "see you in a few!", Bella's agent, Angela, poked her head in the doorway.

"Hey, B! I just got off the phone with New York Times, they want to interview you for a feature on the Sunday edition, and maybe squeeze in a schedule for a little photoshoot…"

Rose bumped hips with her friend. "New York Times is a BFD, girlie!"

Blushing, Bella asked when the interview and photoshoot were to be scheduled. Then quickly reviewed her calendar with Ang.

"Can I be there during your NYT interview? Please, please, please?..." Angela begged to which Bella immediately agreed. "Oh! I almost forgot, those tickets you told me were reserved?"

Bella paused. "Yeah?"

"They were apparently used tonight." _Oh._

"Both?"

Angela nodded her yes, before bidding goodbye – she was going with the rest of the bunch for drinks.

"Was it him, B?" Rose asked.

"I guess so."

Some weeks before the opening night, Bella sent out a couple of e-tickets to _his_ business email address since she had been blocked from his personal mail. The only reply she got was what seemed like an automated response saying _I'm currently on a business trip and can't respond to emails right now. I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible._ Of course, she never got any other response afterwards – rude, she thought, as she knew his mom raised him to _always_ RSVP on invitations. Nevertheless, she didn't know if those tickets would actually be put to use, or if they'd be _when._ Until tonight.

" _I'll still get free tickets, right?" he had joked tearfully all those years ago. Right before she walked out of their shared apartment with all her stuff - and Dwight's - packed away to be sent off to New York._

" _You're guaranteed backstage passes." She had told him with a sad smile, grabbing his hand in hers and squeezing. Some goodbye._

They were on slightly good terms after that, calling and texting each other more often than when they were still together. Talking about their days, talking about Dwight, talking of all the places they were going to and the people they were meeting, and laughing until it was 2 am in Bella's timezone and then it was awkward and sometimes they would cry at how stupid all of it were, then he'd asked her why she broke it off, she'd asked why he didn't fight for her, and they'd argue and laugh at how _fucking_ stupid all of it were.

Then one night, they were both drunk over Facetime talking shit of Garrett, and suddenly, Edward very casually talked about the "stupid fucking engagement ring" he sold to his business partner to use for his own girlfriend because what fucking use did _he_ have for it when Bella had broken up with him, right? He laughed his ass off at his own story, babbling on and on about Garrett and Kate, but no amount of alcohol could quell Bella's anger.

All those months of frustration and disappointment came rushing out of her – _fuck being rational adults!_ He took part in her blow-up and it was suddenly a bout of pointed fingers and bitter words; two very sober and very angry adults –

 _she_ felt taken for granted,

 _he_ was left alone,

why didn't _he_ say anything about it then?,

did he really have to spell it out for _her?,_

oh so all this time _he_ 'd been lying about being supportive of her dreams?

it's not like _she_ ever supported his career,

 _she_ only ever liked him when he fit into her life,

unlike _him,_ she was chasing her dream - _their_ dreams, _their_ plans,

did _she_ ever stop and consider that maybe he had new plans of his own? Plans that went beyond silly childhood dreams?

Of all the words they'd thrown at each other in the past several minutes, that one made Bella stop as if she had been slapped. He knew better than anyone how much theatre and playwrighting meant to her – no matter what age she was. He also knew how insecure she was of her "silly childhood dream", and while once upon a time he'd been the one to encourage her, been the one telling her it was an ambition as valid as any, now he just threw it back in her face.

And Bella just had to hit back and hurt him as much as he'd hurt her in that moment. "I'm really glad I broke it off before you could even propose. Because I probably would've said yes and I would be regretting it."

They didn't speak after that. She spent two weeks crying at nights when she was home, drinking and partying with Rose; her roommates left her alone but Dwight stayed with her. Then she had two nights going over stuff she'd accumulated while she was still with him. The two days that followed, Bella spent gathering said stuff and labelling them as junk; it was on the third day of her cleaning that she found a picture frame holding a piece of paper inside. It was something he took out of _the Office_ – a favorite of theirs – from that one episode where some list divided everyone into two groups: who were of importance and who were not. He made one just for Bella, writing her name and Billy Joel's when he first gave it to her back in college, and Bella added onto it when they were living together. He was the one to put it in a picture frame.

Bella decided to leave it on her bedside table in the meantime, but after three consecutive nights of crying whenever she saw it, she put it in a box under her bed.

He sent her an email on her 25th birthday – but it was just that: _happy birthday._ She could have sent a _thank you_ , but pettiness held her back. During holidays that year, as per her tradition, she sent out a virtual greeting card to all her contacts – a photo of her and Dwight in matching snowman costumes. All but one email was sent.

It took some time, but she eventually dated again – a short fling with a fellow columnist whom she met while taking side jobs when the production company was in between projects, Marco was cute but she realized she wasn't over _him._ She dated a girl named Renata for about a year, around the time she began writing _Eleanor_ , but Renata didn't see herself in a long-term relationship with another girl when she was raised by conservative parents, so they parted ways. Bella's been single for a couple of months, after Jared turned out to be some boring douchebag.

 _He_ 's always been at the back of her mind, though. Bella didn't let herself dwell much on him and what happened between them, but her play, _Eleanor_ was a story inspired by her very own journey of getting where she was today – and that meant _he_ was part of it. In making it, she often let her mind imagine the _what ifs._ What if he'd been there to be her personal soundboard, to encourage her ideas or suggest when she needed; what if he'd been the one to compose the score for this, just as they'd promised each other at that divebar all those years back. What if she still had him…

Well, at least there was one promise to him that she had kept.

Rose went ahead when her Uber arrived, promising to buy Bella drinks if she'd share the story behind the tickets. Bella's phone buzzed with a message from her mom: "we'll order ahead for you, baby. what do you feel like having?"

Bella typed out a quick response, seriously craving the steak and potatoes from the place she was meeting her parents and was about to call her own Uber when a throat cleared behind her.

"I believe my ticket entails a backstage pass?"

* * *

 _ **The end – but not really.**_

 **My Equals fic will continue, I apologize to the readers I appreciate all the reviews there I've just been lost in between chapters.**

 **And I plan to continue this one, as well. Keep me on author alert, if you want. Much love!**

 **Reach me on twitter: person4lshopper**


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